Dangerous truths

We are all full of shit. Our brains and egos trick us into believing exactly how we foresee our future goals, plans, dreams etc.

Here is the proof. Remember the person you imagined you would be and the plans you had in mind while you were in high school or university? Now look at where you are now. Who are you? What do you value? What makes your loins burn right now?  Probably not the same things it did then… And Pink Ranger probably isn’t your girl crush now either.

Despite that, we have our egos that feed us with strong and proud declarations such as, “This is what I want for myself and here is my 5 year plan! It’s going to happen.”  In reality, life is just a bunch of fluid dreams and blurred lines. We have this idea of what we want for ourselves but it’s a toss up. Shit. Happens. When. Life. Happens.

*Ahem ahem* Nietzsche once said, “There are no facts, only interpretations.” #basic. The notion that we have all these dreams and lines drawn out for our future is pretty normal. But these dreams and ideals can become a dangerous slippery slope when you lose grip of reality.

Take suicide for example. It stems from hopelessness; a genuine belief that nothing will get better. This… this is a dangerous truth. It’s not real. It’s a fantasy. It’s a joker and a jester just playing with you.

I thought I’d remind you in case suicide was on your mind right now. Your majestic and treasured soul has always healed eventually. Sometimes it just takes a long damn time, but standing tall and knowing you made it at the end of the tunnel makes it all worth it. You get to strut around with all of the swagger like Mick Jagger.

Your brain is as dynamic and fluid as your dreams and fantasies. It changes frequently. Since it’s not a rigid rock inside your head, it means you can hijack the crap out of it! Remember, YOUR BRAIN CAN CHANGE! It’s just a matter of programming your thoughts differently. If you think this would help you, I encourage you to speak with a psychotherapist one on one because they are a gift from heaven when you find the right one. Click here to see what resources I recommend to find one.

A recent dangerous truth of mine was the dreadful future that I imagined. I worried about what my future would be since my physiological brain has been changing drastically. Cause? Unknown as usual.

My biggest unknown was, “Will I fall deeper into the rabbit hole? And if I do, when will I climb out of it?” It created so much anxiety and fear.

This was reinforced by a few facts that created a relentless monster:

  1. 10 years of mental health history with psychotic symptoms that are rapidly changing and well, going downhill. Nothing like a new cocktail of medications. My fave… *massive eye roll.*
  2. If it’s getting shittier now, then it must be waaaay shittier later.
  3. My docs don’t doubt that I will attempt suicide again given my history. 

If this sounds like you, watch my clever therapist tear this “truth” apart.

She said, “There is a lot of time between now and then so who knows what medications and treatments there will be in the future? The application and use of genetics are rapidly changing and that is a great thing.”

Of course that’s not what she said verbatim but it is the Coles notes of our conversation. It put everything into perspective. Suddenly this long lived dangerous truth disappeared into thin air. Magic!

Like I said, my psychotherapist is an angel. For those who haven’t tried it yet, therapy can seem daunting because it may be a new avenue for failure, or because you have to put in the work. I can tell you that it’s not all fun and games but every once in awhile, it’s fun.

Something SUPER EASY that my psychotherapist shared with me is reversing your thoughts, or designing opposite truths.

  1. Grab a pen and paper (or just your phone) and write down all these “truths”. 
  2. Write the complete reverse of that statement.
  3. Now let the “opposite truth” virgin in you light the candle and cast a little hocus pocus on that brain of yours.
  4. See, that is your silver lining.  Your grain of hope. Your new truth?

Just a little tip from me to you.

Alternatively, I found this super fun workbook called “How to be happy (or at least less sad)” by Lee Crutchley. I buy into anything that is quick, pretty, or funny, which is why hospitals don’t work for me. I also won’t be very compliant either so all that cognitive behavioural therapy stuff never clicked with me. The workbooks were u.g.l.y. and b.o.r.i.n.g. Anyways, try it. If you realize that you like this sort of thing, please please do try to make a date with a psychotherapist. It is life changing.

Goodluck my loves.

xoxo,
Joanne

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