Better at being Bipolar

Much like life right now, I’m writing to you guys without a “topic” to discuss, or any direction for that matter. I’m writing just because. And I’m realizing that maybe the most courageous act I’m accomplishing right now is simply letting go. I’ve been walking through life without any real intent or destination because I’m trusting in the universe. I’m believing that my soul will lead my heart and legs in the right direction, whatever that might be.

Lesson learned: We are really the most fearless when we walk through life blindly, naked, and free.

We are most fearless when we continue down our path with the simple of intent of being calm and whole, and not to the achieve the most success or earn the most money. Because what are we really chasing after if our soul never catches up to our running feet? Suddenly we aren’t calm or whole anymore. *disclaimer: I’m not under the  influence of any drugs*

I’m just the slow rise and fall of ocean waves at the first break of light.

Some mornings are more rough than others, and that’s when it brings stormy weather. Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or was the stormy weather brewing in my sleep? That’s like asking if the chicken or the egg came first. There is no knowing with my moods these days and maybe I’m letting go because there is no telling anymore. There is no knowing, sadly.

What I know is that things will never get better, but they will get easier, and I’ll be better at getting better.

Let’s be real for a moment – I’m calm and writing right now. I’m writing because I’m in a mental space where I can write. With my new job and schedule, I’ve been a lost kitten who is trying to untangle a ball of yarn. I’m just filled with anxiety and thoughts of worthlessness (which aren’t true of course). Some days I can overcome them, and other days I just sleep and try to fight them off in my dreams.

But you know what I found has been helpful? Magnesium citrate! Give ‘er a go. I use a brand called Natural Calm – you mix 1-2 teaspoons with water and drink it before bed. You can find it in health food stores or some grocery stores. Just food for thought… like actual food for good and calm thoughts. Fingers crossed you find your some peace and calmness in your life lately too.


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