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Shining light on mental health and bipolar disorder through my honest, colourful and sometimes hilarious stories.

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Month: June 2019

His name is Peter.

I’m not always alone. He lives in my head. He usually perches on some invisible branch and talks to me on the left side of my head. I see him vividly. Is Peter real? Well, that’s not the point. The point is that Peter is here for me through the good and the bad, and…

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// new post // Patience is not the ability to simply wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. So waiting I've done. Waiting to start work again. Waiting to be a worker bee. Waiting to get paid. It's all so real. It's been almost 5 months. If you're feeling hopess at all though, I'm right there with you, magic stick in hand and chanting "there is light at the end of the tunnel". Read more for details this week. . . . . . #patience#joycemeyer#anxiety#depression#bipolar#bipolardisorder#anxiety#depression#bipolar1#bipolar2#recovery#roadtorecovery#lightprojectstories#mentalhealthadvocate#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness

Lately, my response to "how are you?" has been "I'm alright." I don't say I'm happy because that would be a lie. I don't say I'm sad because, well, I don't even know what that means anymore. I'm so numb to that concept. I'm sad at my situation. Work life, tremors, being bipolar etc. But I am not sad. I am alright with everything and absorbing it, soaking it all in everyday. The good the bad and everything inbetween. It's a glass half full approach but it's keeping me afloat and "alright". Kudos to my medications. I would not be here and alive without them. . . . . . #1in5#mentalhealthwarriors#mentalhealthadvocate#bipolarlife#bipolar1#bipolar2#bipolardisorder#anxiety#depression#recovery#roadtorecovery#lightprojectstories#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness#stopthestigma

I hide from fear. I drown myself with activities so that my mind can't take my life first. Yes, I mean taking my life. Because when it's quiet my mind chatters and says all sorts of negative things and when it chatters I hide because of fear. So do I hide from fear or behind fear? I have a few more obligations I can't runaway from but the rest of July and August will free up. That will be time to reflect. Slow down. Be mindful. 🌻 Are you mindful this summer? Or a busy bee? 🐝 I hope you don't let the sunshine escape you 🌞 But I also hope that you don't use the sunshine as an excuse to escape the important stuff you know what I mean? . . . . . #1in5#mentalhealthwarriors#mentalhealthadvocate#bipolarlife#bipolar1#bipolar2#bipolardisorder#anxiety#depression#recovery#roadtorecovery#lightprojectstories#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness#stopthestigma

// new post // Imaginary friends were OK as kids. Imaginary voices are considered "crazy" now as adults. I have lots of friends in my head but there's one that always stands out in particular. His name is Peter. Learn more about Peter in my blog post. Link in bio as usual 💛 . . . #1in5 #mentalhealthwarriors #mentalhealthadvocate #bipolarlife #bipolar1 #bipolar2 #bipolardisorder #anxiety #depression #recovery #roadtorecovery #lightprojectstories #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigma #mentalhealthadvocate #wordpressblog #blogger #bloggersofinstagram

I had a panic attack that night. No one knew. I took off and ran without telling anyone. My husband couldn't find me. Thank goodness my GPS was on so he knew I was still in the building at least. I couldn't breathe anymore and I wanted - needed - to get out. So I ran. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and dive right into the river. That's called anxiety. If it weren't for the rain that night, I would've have done much worse. But I didn't want to ruin my dress, my hair. I couldn't fathom looking worn and tattered because that's what "sick" people with "mental illnesses" look like. I kept up with my social graces like I always do. To be honest, it's a really disabling habit. Maybe if I didn't, I would've asked for help earlier when someone walked by and asked if I was OK. I wouldn't have run away. I wouldn't have thought of the worst of the worst. Suicide. So here I am. Writing and unsure why but I wanted you to know how real anxiety is, and how quickly someone can go from 0 to 100, real quick. . . . . #mentalhealthwarriors#bipolarlife#bipolar#bipolardisorder#anxiety#depression#suicide#suicideawareness#recovery#roadtorecovery#lightprojectstories#mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigma#mentalhealthadvocate

9 DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS IN APRIL. 3 SO FAR IN MAY. HELLO INSANITY 🤪 some days I can choose to be happy sad anxious depressed or nutso. Can you tell which mood I chose today? Other days I have to completely submit to my moods and roll with the anxiety, or depression, or hypomania. Just remember that if things feel out of control, you can only take it hour by hour. Today I slipped into my comfiest clothes and ran out the door to see my family doctor again and stare at the same ugly walls. Safe to report that I am going with the flow right now. . . . . . #fml #insanity #springforward #spiritualgangster #mentalhealthwarriors #bipolarlife #bipolar #bipolar1# #bipolar2 #bipolardisorder #anxiety #depression #recovery #roadtorecovery #resilience #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #stopthestigma #mentalhealthadvocate #lightprojectstories

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