A Prisoner to Pills

“Things get better.” and they do… they just never go away though, at least not without a price. You can’t run from who you are, but you can hope that the shit storm you’re in “gets better” so it’s an easier pill to swallow. As I’ve slowly recovered from my most recent suicide attempt four…

Pregnancy dilemma: Bipolar with babies?

In about a month from now, I’ll be 2 years into married life and I’ve successfully dodged a lot of baby questions. I’m starting to pass that honeymoon phase though so those questions are starting to trickle in. Before I know it, they’ll be watching that certain “special lower abdomen” bump every time I refuse…

Love & Loss

If you’ve followed me on Instagram, you’ll know that my grandmother passed away a month ago. Everyday I think about her – we were close… really close. We shared a room and bed together for almost 12 years of my life until I got a room of my own. Let’s just say I have a…

Dear family & friends: How can you be supportive?

I’ve received a lot of questions on how to help their bipolar/depressed/anxious family member or friend cope, and today is the day to let it all out! Last week I mentioned that rapid cycling season is quickly approaching (or has started already) so there’s no better time than to practice and sharpen those skills. I…

Breaking free from rapid cycling

Tis the season to spring forward and welcome new mood changes and rapid cycling. I know that I cycle through depression, anxiety and hypomania when the weather drastically changes, which is usually around March to April and again August to October depending on the year. Another one usually creeps up around June too. Rapid cycling…

Alternative mindfulness

I learned this formula when I began my mindfulness journey –> mindfulness equals meditation, which is why I tried to be a zen yogi at first. I immediately enforced this rule when I was hospitalized a few years ago. I’d lay out a towel on the floor and meditate with my legs crossed for 20…

Affirmation in illness

We’re all chasing after affirmation in one way or another. Social media doesn’t help when we’re overthinking the perfect picture or caption on Instagram or Facebook. The need for affirmation brews in our minds just a little more with chronic illnesses like bipolar disorder. Simply put, we want answers and sometimes those answers don’t exist….

Dear medications

Sorting out medications in the world of mental health is difficult because there are many “new”, or “second generation”, medications that are marked with a big fat question mark. No one really knows how they work, and you’re blindly creating medication cocktails based on your own history and reaction to them, and other people’s experiences…

Hello Bipolar

I often think about the good ol’ days when I lived with major depressive disorder (MDD/depression) instead of bipolar disorder. Last week, I spoke about grieving over the person I lost a couple years ago, which you can read here. It feels like breaking up with my ex sometimes; the hurt and pain doesn’t just…