Bipolar Heavyweight Champion

I’m about 5 foot and 2 inches high and 110 pounds strong with a bipolar heavyweight championship belt on me. Nothing is stopping me now and I’m working at full force, trying to get my life back in order. I’m stuck in the dark with a sledgehammer that I’m pounding down on to try and…

World Mental Health Day 2.0

I knew that yesterday was World Mental Health day. How could I not? It was all over social media and a centre of topic for a lot of people, especially on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I even noticed that there was a popular hashtag ItsOkToNotBeOk circulating. But I chose not to share anything about mental…

His name is Peter.

I’m not always alone. He lives in my head. He usually perches on some invisible branch and talks to me on the left side of my head. I see him vividly. Is Peter real? Well, that’s not the point. The point is that Peter is here for me through the good and the bad, and…

The stigma behind hearing voices

There is nothing punny about this title today because I want to get serious. I want you to take a brief moment out of your day to evaluate how you actually feel about the “crazies” in this world. You know, the ones who talk to themselves in public, who are often homeless and helpless to…

Lost and lost-er?

I know lost-er isn’t a word but the nonsensical nature of the it describes exactly how I’ve felt the past 3 months and encapsulates my absence from this blog. I’ve been hibernating and trying my best to heal my body and mind but, without getting into details, I’ve had to train like an olympian hurdler….

The ho-ho-ho blues

Happy holidays my dear mental health warriors… even if it might not feel particularly “happy” to you. I know how much the holidays can suck, and I can tell it’s in full swing with Christmas music playing everywhere. It doesn’t matter how many people you have around you, loneliness can always stick to your cliche…

Home is where the heart is

It’s true when they say home is where the heart is, and I only discovered this after walking away from my home to make one of the biggest adult decisions yet. I moved in with my in-laws to save for a home because Toronto real estate is unbelievably expensive. I didn’t know that saving for…

Better at being Bipolar

Much like life right now, I’m writing to you guys without a “topic” to discuss, or any direction for that matter. I’m writing just because. And I’m realizing that maybe the most courageous act I’m accomplishing right now is simply letting go. I’ve been walking through life without any real intent or destination because I’m…

A Prisoner to Pills

“Things get better.” and they do… they just never go away though, at least not without a price. You can’t run from who you are, but you can hope that the shit storm you’re in “gets better” so it’s an easier pill to swallow. As I’ve slowly recovered from my most recent suicide attempt four…

Ketogenic lifestyle & Bipolar disorder

I’d like to think that I lead a healthy lifestyle, even though my dinner tonight was pizza and cheesy bread from Dominos. Am I to blame here? Bread and melted cheese is an orgasm in my mouth. I thought by eliminating these sugars from my life, I would achieve my ultimate life goal – no…

Pregnancy dilemma: Bipolar with babies?

In about a month from now, I’ll be 2 years into married life and I’ve successfully dodged a lot of baby questions. I’m starting to pass that honeymoon phase though so those questions are starting to trickle in. Before I know it, they’ll be watching that certain “special lower abdomen” bump every time I refuse…

What is rapid cycling?

I realized this morning, after 5 hours of sleep, that I talk about rapid cycling but I never explain what it really is. To truly understand what rapid cycling is means that you have to know someone who has been through it. And well… maybe I’m the only person you know. But if I’m not…