A Prisoner to Pills

“Things get better.” and they do… they just never go away though, at least not without a price. You can’t run from who you are, but you can hope that the shit storm you’re in “gets better” so it’s an easier pill to swallow. As I’ve slowly recovered from my most recent suicide attempt four…

Pregnancy dilemma: Bipolar with babies?

In about a month from now, I’ll be 2 years into married life and I’ve successfully dodged a lot of baby questions. I’m starting to pass that honeymoon phase though so those questions are starting to trickle in. Before I know it, they’ll be watching that certain “special lower abdomen” bump every time I refuse…

What is rapid cycling?

I realized this morning, after 5 hours of sleep, that I talk about rapid cycling but I never explain what it really is. To truly understand what rapid cycling is means that you have to know someone who has been through it. And well… maybe I’m the only person you know. But if I’m not…

Is Dialectical Behavioural Therapy helpful or nah?

I have a very, very, very philosophical theory about recovering and getting better – it starts with “I’ll get better” followed by “then I’ll try therapy.” A little contradictory, no? You don’t start biking without a helmet, bump your head, and say, “I’ll consider wearing a helmet.” You very well will wear a damn helmet…

Rapid cycling: The devil you know

Rapid cycling – the quick turnover of depression, anxiety, and hypomania – is the familiar devil that I know and live with. We all have our worst nightmares within us… our flaws and all. But this devil is one that I could happily live without. I try my best to embrace it but it’s gnawing…

I’m “crazy” and psychotic

Me, and the 1 in 5 individuals living with a mental health disorder, are “crazy”. But how crazy are we really? If you try to dissect that statistic to find out how many people live with bipolar disorder, you’ll sadly find an inconsistent range of numbers and percentages. This means that… You don’t have to…

Bell Let’s Honestly Talk

Bell Let’s Talk mental health campaign takes place all over the interwebs on January 25th. I had to maintain a level of namaste when I scrolled by #BellLetsTalk. For a girl with little patience, I got through it by casually humming to the beat of my own voice chanting, “If you don’t have anything nice to…

Accessing therapy

Can I hear an AMEN if you’ve ever had the most difficult time trying to find a specialist, then book an appointment with them? I love being Canadian and Medicare is one of the first reasons why, but the system can be cruel. I’ve come across a lot of people who don’t even know where…

Part 1: A will to live

The fine line between living and dying is your will to live; only you and you alone. Anais Nin summed it up best with this line: You cannot save people. You can only love them. I believe that staying alive is primarily based on your will to live. Of course there are physiological components that will hold you back but…

Unplugging the triggers

In the world of mental health, you hear the word trigger a lot. Specifically, “What’s triggering you?” Triggers are the little dancing devils that control depression, anxiety and all sorts of feelings. Triggers can be anything and everything. It can be a thought, a person, place, or thing. They tug on your heartstrings and provide…