Home is where the heart is

It’s true when they say home is where the heart is, and I only discovered this after walking away from my home to make one of the biggest adult decisions yet. I moved in with my in-laws to save for a home because Toronto real estate is unbelievably expensive. I didn’t know that saving for…

Better at being Bipolar

Much like life right now, I’m writing to you guys without a “topic” to discuss, or any direction for that matter. I’m writing just because. And I’m realizing that maybe the most courageous act I’m accomplishing right now is simply letting go. I’ve been walking through life without any real intent or destination because I’m…

A Prisoner to Pills

“Things get better.” and they do… they just never go away though, at least not without a price. You can’t run from who you are, but you can hope that the shit storm you’re in “gets better” so it’s an easier pill to swallow. As I’ve slowly recovered from my most recent suicide attempt four…

Ketogenic lifestyle & Bipolar disorder

I’d like to think that I lead a healthy lifestyle, even though my dinner tonight was pizza and cheesy bread from Dominos. Am I to blame here? Bread and melted cheese is an orgasm in my mouth. I thought by eliminating these sugars from my life, I would achieve my ultimate life goal – no…

Pregnancy dilemma: Bipolar with babies?

In about a month from now, I’ll be 2 years into married life and I’ve successfully dodged a lot of baby questions. I’m starting to pass that honeymoon phase though so those questions are starting to trickle in. Before I know it, they’ll be watching that certain “special lower abdomen” bump every time I refuse…

What is rapid cycling?

I realized this morning, after 5 hours of sleep, that I talk about rapid cycling but I never explain what it really is. To truly understand what rapid cycling is means that you have to know someone who has been through it. And well… maybe I’m the only person you know. But if I’m not…

Love & Loss

If you’ve followed me on Instagram, you’ll know that my grandmother passed away a month ago. Everyday I think about her – we were close… really close. We shared a room and bed together for almost 12 years of my life until I got a room of my own. Let’s just say I have a…

Dear family & friends: How can you be supportive?

I’ve received a lot of questions on how to help their bipolar/depressed/anxious family member or friend cope, and today is the day to let it all out! Last week I mentioned that rapid cycling season is quickly approaching (or has started already) so there’s no better time than to practice and sharpen those skills. I…

Alternative mindfulness

I learned this formula when I began my mindfulness journey –> mindfulness equals meditation, which is why I tried to be a zen yogi at first. I immediately enforced this rule when I was hospitalized a few years ago. I’d lay out a towel on the floor and meditate with my legs crossed for 20…

Is Dialectical Behavioural Therapy helpful or nah?

I have a very, very, very philosophical theory about recovering and getting better – it starts with “I’ll get better” followed by “then I’ll try therapy.” A little contradictory, no? You don’t start biking without a helmet, bump your head, and say, “I’ll consider wearing a helmet.” You very well will wear a damn helmet…

Rapid cycling: The devil you know

Rapid cycling – the quick turnover of depression, anxiety, and hypomania – is the familiar devil that I know and live with. We all have our worst nightmares within us… our flaws and all. But this devil is one that I could happily live without. I try my best to embrace it but it’s gnawing…

I’m “crazy” and psychotic

Me, and the 1 in 5 individuals living with a mental health disorder, are “crazy”. But how crazy are we really? If you try to dissect that statistic to find out how many people live with bipolar disorder, you’ll sadly find an inconsistent range of numbers and percentages. This means that… You don’t have to…