Dear weathered soul

Dear weathered and withering soul: You may be exhausted but you are not alone. I have spent years trying to climb all the enormous mountains that feel impossible at the time but I made it. So dear and precious soul, do not give up. It does get better even if it doesn’t seem like it…

The common denominator

While I was in the hospital post suicide attempt, I distinctly remember this brief interaction I had with my friend. I was given an hour to be on a “supervised outing” and somehow we began discussing religion and Gods, which left me a little defensive because I always had my reservations about organized religion. Nonetheless, the discussion continued…

Frosted windows & Suicidal thoughts

The reality of winter really sets in when the holidays are over. Suddenly we see snow as this hideous yellow-brown colour instead of glistening with sparkles, and the sun just doesn’t shine anymore. And no I don’t mean the crack between your cheeks. I’m talking about winter and how all its gloom and doom reminds…

Water down the drain

I don’t usually write on a whim but I guess this is what our community is for. I haven’t had the energy to write, let alone sift through social media outlets at all. I’m coming undone. So I apologize for being MIA to everyone’s words and feelings here. I’m completely numb and disinterested in life….

Dangerous truths

We are all full of shit. Our brains and egos trick us into believing exactly how we foresee our future goals, plans, dreams etc. Here is the proof. Remember the person you imagined you would be and the plans you had in mind while you were in high school or university? Now look at where…

Mirror mirror on the wall

I stared into the steel rails and wooden grills of our Toronto subway tracks on my way home the other night. I thought, “These old subway tracks have so much meaning; it holds such substance from me, to you.” Meaning also shifts as your life changes. In the recent 5 or 6 years, these tracks…

I miss me

This is pretty impromptu of me. This isn’t an actual post about anything. But I’m so alone right now. I’ve been suicidal again. I’m grieving…. About myself. I found this on reddit and I’m balling my eyes out now. I needed to share this for anyone who is grieving too. Bipolar isn’t just a moment…